Woman says her husband of 14 years is physically rough with their 9-year-old daughter, has even hit the wife before marriage

SINGAPORE: A woman whose husband would have violent outbursts took to social media asking netizens if she should stay until she is financially stable before filing for divorce.

In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the woman wrote that she was married for 14 years to a “generally wonderful guy, hands-on with our 3 children (5, 7, 9), financially responsible, loving, surprises us with gifts and trips, do the chores etc”. However, she added that his temper was very bad and said he would flare up in arguments and use vulgarities.

“Recently, he has been physically rough with my 9yo girl. Once he threw her against the wall and few days later he tried pulling the scarf she tied around her neck roughly and it kinda chocked her in the process. This was the last straw I guess and I want out. He has hit me before we even got married and I know I am stupid to proceed with the wedding”, she wrote.

She added that while the man mostly changed after they had children, he would occasionally have his outbursts every few months. While she initially wanted to accept him, she felt that she could not live with him physically and verbally abusing their children.

The woman added that she was a stay-at-home mother without much savings and was financially dependent on her husband. “We have not spoken to him for about a week and there was a huge difference in the whole atmosphere. My children were not arguing, we are all more relaxed and happier and I take this as a sign for me to start my exit plan”, she wrote.

She added that she was looking for a job but was more concerned with housing as most of the funds in her CPF account went into her matrimonial home.

“He doesn’t know of my plan but is it a sound decision to stay until I find a job, stabilise myself financially first and then file for the divorce?” she asked netizens.

Here’s what they said: