SATIRE: Singaporeans react to AGO findings of MINDEF $50 million investments on American properties

By: Chen Guojun

“Last January, Mindef invested S$50.26 million in a United States Real Estate Investment Trust exchange-traded fund (US REIT ETF) without proper approval by the SAVER-Premium Fund’s Board of Trustees. The ministry only sought approval from the then Director of Defence Finance.” (source: http://bit.ly/2as1Rve)

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These thoughts may have entered your mind at some point in time after reading that news:

“So Mindef is now an investment company? That explains a lot.”

“This is the reason why contributions to NSFs cannot be measured in dollars and cents.”

“Serving two years for an investment company is a privilege that belongs to Singaporeans.”

“Mindef will now file a Protection from Harassment Act against the AGO! That will show him!”

“Cool! This means that NSFs get to stay in America housing!! FOR FREE!! Right?”

“Where did this 50 million come from, and who does it belong to? Nah nevermind, I don’t want to know….”

“This is a wise decision. Mindef understood that money spent on a safe haven overseas is better than buying weapons for the army.”

“Thank goodness Minister Khaw isn’t handling the deal. Otherwise they would find hairline cracks on the buildings, and have to send them for repair.”

“Temasek have investments. GIC have investments. NUS has investments. Mindef has investments. Is there any organisation in Singapore that doesn’t have investments?”

“This is a fabrication from the WP. Don’t believe it!”

“When Pokemon Go comes here, I wonder what should be my first pokemon?”