Woman disappointed with her CNY because her toxic cousins haven’t changed

SINGAPORE: A woman recently shared her Chinese New Year experience online, saying she was disappointed to discover that her toxic cousins had not changed their ways after all these years.

“Every year, I dread CNY because of toxic cousins. I thought that now we are all much older, everyone will be more sensible and have higher EQ,” the woman wrote on r/askSingapore on Saturday (Feb 10).

She also revealed that she was mocked for her relationship status despite her cousins not being married.

Wanting to know if anyone felt the same about their family reunions, she asked her fellow Singaporeans, “Anyone has similar experience? Share your CNY stories here!”

‘The culture in SG is kiasu (afraid to LOSE)’

The post appeared to have struck a chord with many Singaporean Redditors, as they sympathized with the woman and shared their own horrible experience in the comments section.

One Redditor shared, “Me!! My aunty dissed me for my hair colour, criticised me for drinking alcoholic cider, called me fat. Another aunty ask why I no boyfriend when I 25 this year, not interested in one at this stage.

A lot of comparisons with other cousins as well😅”

Another Redditor also said that although she only got married recently, she was met with questions like, “When are you having kids?”

She added, “also i assumed it was well known that 1st year of marriage couples get a free pass out of angbao giving but my aunt insisted ‘first year need to give more’. HAH. nope”

One Redditor also asked why “toxic relatives were so common in Singapore,” to which another responded:

“Because the culture in SG is kiasu (afraid to LOSE). So comparison is the 1st order of conversation. Compare. Lose. Gloat or bitter. This is SG.

So the next question is, why are Singaporeans (or most Asians) so focused on not losing?

Because we are still stuck in the pre-developed economy mindset that self-worth is measured in dollars and that a person’s life has little meaning outside of that.

We have become richer in dollars. But still poor in the heart.”

Dreaded CNY family reunion

Rather than being looked forward to, it seems that some Singaporeans weren’t so keen on celebrating the Chinese New Year this year since this meant attending the family reunions they dreaded.

One Singaporean even took to social media to express his reluctance to meet with his “judgmental and critical” family members during this time of year, asking others on the internet how to go about the celebration and avoid their prying questions.

Read more: Man asks how to avoid “judgmental & critical” CNY family gatherings