S’porean wonders why couples are ‘speedrunning relationships,’ proposing & applying for BTO in 6 months

SINGAPORE: In a Reddit post, a Singaporean observed that more couples today appear to be in a hurry to get married and apply for a Built to Order public housing flat. He believes this did not use to be the case.

On Thursday (Jan 9), u/Undeccc wrote on r/askSingapore that, in his experience, more couples, including some of his own friends, nowadays acquire a romantic partner and then, within six months, get engaged to be married and apply for BTO.

“I’m seeing more and more couples… literally speedrunning relationships,” he wrote.

In contrast, he had taken a longer route to getting engaged, as it was two years before he and his partner were officially together and another four years before he proposed to her.

“What makes couples these days so sure of their future partner that they can buy a flat after only knowing each other for less than a year?” he asked.

Interestingly, a report in The Business Times from last July appears to somewhat substantiate the post author’s observations. It said that some couples in Singapore are marrying earlier in order to buy homes, but added that the decision to tie the knot early  led “some to regret”. The report cited a recently-published study that was conducted by four academics from the National University of Singapore (NUS).

Data from two million people had been reviewed by the researchers, and the study concluded that couples who live in BTO flats were “significantly younger and more likely to have short marriages” in comparison with couples who lived in other types of property.

YouGov conducted a survey in 2022, asking Singapore residents how long they believe couples should date before they hit different relationship milestones. Twenty-three per cent said couples should wait at least a year and 20 per cent said they should have a two-year wait before getting engaged, the two highest numbers among the options given. As for marriage, 22 and 27 per cent said couples should wait two and three years, respectively, before tying the knot.

A Reddit user commenting on the post wrote that, at times, the length of time a couple waits doesn’t really matter. “You can take all the time you want, when things aren’t meant to be, they aren’t meant to be,” he wrote.

Another wrote that one of their friends went from dating for a month to getting married and then buying a baby stroller.

One Reddit user surmised that many decide to apply for a BTO, which can take a while, not necessarily because they’re sure about their partner but because they may be eager to live independently.

Another wrote that their parents, who had been in an arranged marriage, had known each other for all of five minutes before marriage but are still together more than 50 years later. /TISG

Read also: Not enough opportunities to get together: Young Singaporeans on the challenges of dating these days