Employer says her 40-year-old maid is married, but messages and video calls another man in SG late into the night

SINGAPORE: An employer took to social media asking if she should interfere in her maid’s personal life.

In an anonymous post to a support group for domestic helpers and employers alike, the employer asked: “How do u let yr helper know that it is wrong to be in contact with someone’s husband here. Although they are just being friends”.

She added that her 40-year-old maid was already married to her husband in her home country. The employer said she found out her helper had a boyfriend in Singapore. In addition, she found out that a married man had been WhatsApp-messaging and video-calling her at night and sometimes during the day as well.

“Although i know it is her pte life, and i shouldnt interfere much in it, i scared if anything happen, the wives of the married men will come over to my place & make a scene. I told her before to work well and dont make trouble (make money can). I give her off not for her to make trouble by meeting the man. But she says they are only friends”, the employer wrote.

The woman asked if she could take action against the man who contacted her maid in Singapore. She also asked if she should report her maid’s actions to the agency.

In the comments section, the employer said she had seen her maid on the video call before, and when she asked, the helper told her the man was just a friend. “Again, i dont mind if it is her husband or fam member, coz i know they miss each other at times. But that man is married, it’s not good”, the employer wrote.

Here’s what the other helpers and employers in the group said:

Earlier this year, an employer who noticed a huge change in his maid’s behaviour after getting a boyfriend here asked: “is having a bf while married a deal breaker?”

In a post to a support group on Facebook for domestic helpers and employers alike, the man wrote that his helper worked for the family for four years. She’s married and has a daughter back home and “used to be a very hardworking helper”, he said.

“But i found out that she has a bangladeshi boyfriend and has started to dress up very differently from before, no more headscarf and more makeup, perfume and tighter clothes”, he wrote. The man added that while she still did her work, her attitude was very different, where she became more argumentative and was a bit defiant as well. When given instructions, she would look bored or show a “black face”, he added.

“Also texting alot more, hiding in her room etc. She also secretly took some of my wine and passed out at home, i had to send her to GP”, the man wrote in his post.

Maid who’s married and has a daughter back home gets a boyfriend here, behaves differently, even steals her employer’s wine, and passes out at home drinking