‘He borrows thousands from me but keeps splurging’: Woman vents about reckless boyfriend who never repays in full

SINGAPORE: Would you stay in a relationship if your partner’s money habits clash hard with your own?

That is the dilemma a Singaporean woman recently put out on social media after growing increasingly frustrated with her boyfriend’s spending patterns. In her post on SGWhispers, she said he regularly splurges on what she considers “unnecessary” purchases, such as “more clothes, more shoes, and gadgets that he rarely uses.”

He also travels solo, then turns around and asks to borrow thousands of dollars from her, citing reasons like school fees and other expenses.

According to her, these requests often come wrapped in grand promises. He assures her he will repay the money by a certain date, sometimes even offering interest. In reality, she says, only part of the amount ever comes back in cash. 

The rest is repaid “in kind,” through the occasional couple meal or shared trip, which he then counts as settling the debt.

What bothers her most is the disconnect between his actions and his words. Despite struggling to repay what he owes, her boyfriend continues to speak confidently about their future, describing plans for comfortable living, desirable housing, and a lifestyle filled with luxuries.

“Get rid of him. He is not responsible enough.”

Those who responded to the post told her to walk away, saying her boyfriend’s spending habits and reliance on her for money were unlikely to change anytime soon.

“The moment he starts to borrow money and makes empty promises, that’s where you leave him,” one commenter said.

“Finance is the cornerstone of a relationship. If he deals with his and intrudes on yours even before marriage, imagine what else he can do after marriage and worse, if you have kids. Get rid of him. He is not responsible enough,” another chimed in.

“When a guy borrows money from you during a relationship, it is a BIG red flag. I bet he will never pay you back and will continue to use emotional blackmail against you. By the time you find out the truth, your savings will already be empty,” a third wrote.

“If you are planning to tie down your marriage with such a person, then be prepared to be his ATM. Learn to let go to protect your own interests,” a fourth added.

In other news, a local worker was left confused after her company’s HR department informed her that her notice period would be extended because she took medical leave partway through it.

Sharing her experience on the r/askSingapore forum, the employee said the HR sent her a screenshot of a clause in her employment contract to justify the decision

Read more: Local worker says company wants to extend her two-month notice period after taking medical leave