Married man without children wants to know if he should give ‘ang baos’ to other kids

SINGAPORE: A married man without children took to social media asking if he should still give red packets containing money to the children of his relatives during Chinese New Year. In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the man wrote that he and his wife were married for 10 years and they decided not to have children of their own.

The man wrote: “As the years went by, during Chinese New Year, my wife and I would give ang pows to our nieces and nephews.. My wife has a big family and many of her cousins have many kids ranging from 2-4 kids per cousin”. He added that as the number of children being born in the family kept increasing, the money they had to give out also kept going up.

“A couple of years ago, we decided to get a dog and our dog has many medical problems and in SG, vet fees are not a joke.. We give our dog a good life coz to us he is like our kid.. However, now whenever Chinese New Year comes around, we feel like we have to spend a lot of money giving ang pows to our nieces and nephews but we don’t get anything in return.. of course we are not expecting an ang pow for our dog but for 10 years we have been giving so much ang pows and it’s gotten to the point that my wife and I no longer wants to celebrate Chinese New year with the family”, the man wrote.

He added that it was less about the money and more about the expectation the family had for others to give them red packets if they had children. He also said that even if he reduced the money he gave out, the amount he did give would still add up to hundreds of dollars he could have used on his dog or family.

“My best friends and their families actually give ang pows to those with no kids but have dogs coz they recognise that the dog is family to the couple and also has vet bills to pay.. it’s the gesture of giving and not the amount.. I feel that those without kids should not be asked to give an ang pow.. I feel those with kids should give to those who have kids.. Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way? Should I just suck it up and continue the tradition? Any advise would help”, the man wrote in his post.

Netizens who commented on his post had mixed opinions. One said: “One of my cousins is married with kid. I’m single. My mum always gives his kid ang pow, but said cousin has never given me an ang pow even after he married while I was still a small teenager. So, yah, you can choose to be stingy like my cousin. Ang pows are token blessings and being stingy is a freedom of choice”.

Another wrote: “First, you have to change your mindset. Treat giving ang pow like donation or present. Give and expect nothing in return. Give them for blessing. Once a year own relative also so want to be calculative. As long as you got a job and earning, just give lah. Money can earn back. B8g (sic) or small doesn’t matter. Good deed to give bad deed to complain small amount”.