Woman says her 60 yo parents still live in the past, thinking S$3k is a great salary and refuse to admit that cost of living has risen dramatically

SINGAPORE: A woman recently shared on social media that her 60-year-old parents have outdated views on financial matters.

“They still live in the past, thinking S$3k is a great salary, refusing to admit that cost of living has risen dramatically. My dad recently claimed that CDC/GST vouchers can last us for months,” she wrote on r/askSingapore on Monday (Oct 14).

“I told him a few hundreds can barely last 1 month for 1 person, he refused to believe. He also thinks the fact that my uni fees are heavily subsidized through bursaries is due to govt generosity, and not because we are poor.”

She went on to explain her parents’ financial situation, mentioning that they have a combined income of S$5,000, a remaining mortgage of S$90,000, and very little cash savings. Plus, she pointed out that CPF Life will only give them S$1,500 each per month.

She also said that her parents can be really stubborn about money and often use the line, “The government/God will take care of us,” whenever she brings up their retirement plans.

While she has considered presenting them with statistics indicating that they fall within the bottom 20% of household income, with the median single income already at S$5,000, she hesitates to confront them in this way.

“I don’t have the heart to scold or shame them. At the same time, I want them to wake up from their delusion and work towards their retirement,” she said.

“Of course I don’t expect them to get better jobs, which is basically impossible for them, but just to convince them to reduce their expenses and save up more.”

She then asked the community, “How can I convince [my] family members that their financial situation is bad?

“You will never be able to wake up someone who pretends to be asleep.”

In the discussion thread, many sympathized with her struggle, acknowledging how difficult it can be to talk to older family members about finances, especially when they hold onto outdated beliefs.

One user suggested a gentle approach, recommending that she start by having a calm conversation with her parents, highlighting small examples of rising costs, like grocery bills or utility expenses, to help them gradually understand the bigger picture.

She said, “Take them to the supermarket to see how expensive things are and do the math how much is the monthly expenses.”

Another user advised her to get her parents to log their daily expenses, so they can get a clearer picture of their monthly spending. Once they tally up the numbers, she could then help them figure out how much they’ll need for retirement or, at their current rate of spending, if retirement is even possible.

He added, “That should hopefully provide them some solid evidence as to how bad their financial situation is.”

On the other hand, others told her that it’s nearly impossible to change their mindset. They pointed out that older generations often stick to their long-held beliefs, and no amount of logic or financial analysis might convince them otherwise.

One Redditor stated, “You will never be able to wake up someone who pretends to be asleep. Your charts and data won’t work. What you could probably do is encourage them to save more money so they can have a better retirement.

If they don’t want to, come up with some excuses or, tell them you urgently need money and save it for them.”

Read also: SG worker asks, “Is getting a first-class honours degree overrated in Singapore since many good managers and high performers don’t have it?”

Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)