Woman says her parents expect her to care for her younger sibling

SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media after feeling rather stressed by the expectations placed upon her by her parents. In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the woman said that her parents expected her to care for and help her younger sister simply because she was the eldest.

“Sometimes I feel that there’s no end to it. My younger sibling has a lot of expectations on me, expecting me to be caring and able to tolerate her hot temper”, she wrote. The woman added that her sister would have sudden temper outbursts, because of friction with other family members or because she recounted unpleasant experiences she’s had in the past. This could be as early as from Primary or Secondary school, the woman said.

“I feel very tired. Mum wants me to have big heart and be the bigger person. Sometimes I feel like no one actually cares about my feeling and well being, mum always told me bcos I’m the eldest so I should give in to the younger ones”, she wrote. She added that she felt like moving out because the type of expectations her mother placed upon her did not match her personality. She added that she was not a generous person who could constantly tolerate her sibline. “I hope i can move out or find a partner that’s emotionally stable. Sibling kept working from home everyday, hopefully she can go back to office soon. Im so sick of dealing with an emotionally unstable person. I feel so tired”, the woman wrote.

Netizens who commented on the post urged her to move out and to stop enabling her sister’s bad behaviour. One said: “You’re absolutely right – there won’t be an end to this and no one actually cares about your feelings. If you enable all of this then nothing will change. It’s ok to be intolerant of other people’s bad behaviour. Try showing some of your hot temper for a change. Just say no. Be selfish. Maybe you need to just pack a bag and just go off for a week and spend it with some peace and quiet away from them.

Just because people expect things from you doesn’t mean you have to deliver at the expense of your own mental health. At the end of the day letting people (family or not) take you for granted is your choice. Make plans to move out now if you can’t deal with it any longer but if you don’t set boundaries in your relationships then it really doesn’t matter where you live”.

Another netizen commented: Sometimes you just need to leave. There is no other solution. Where respect has left the table, it’s always better to leave. Initially,it may feel scary and difficult…but eventually your soul will thank you for it”.